Breathe on me Breath of God

Happy New Year!

I was reading "My Utmost For His Highest" this morning. I had some thoughts about what it says.

First Oswald Chambers talks about how "Peter had denied Jesus with oaths and curses," I thought about the rest of the disciples. It seems to me that they denied Jesus to by "forsaking" Jesus and "fleeing". Peter did it in a more open, bold way as only Peter could do! This is the Peter who asked to walk on the water; this is the Peter who challenged when Jesus told him that He was going to die; this is, also, the Peter who proclaimed that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of the Living God; this is the Peter who cut of the man's ear in Gethsemane. All through Scripture we see Peter, right or wrong, good or bad, boldly doing, saying. Peter was the bold one. He wasn't afraid to look foolish before Christ. This is one of the reasons I believe Jesus chose him to be his disciple, to be in His inner circle. He had 3 who appeared to be closer to Him than the rest; John (the disciple He loved); James (John's brother) and Peter (the one who verbally denied Him). Jesus had told Peter "And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren."(KJV) I believe this relates to Peter denial of Christ. After the denial, look at what Jesus tells Peter to do, 'when thou art converted'. Jesus tells Peter to 'strengthen thy brethen.' Jesus saw the true Peter. Jesus saw who Peter was created to be. Jesus knew that Peter was a diamond in the rough. He sees this in all of us and wants to help us to be the jewel he has created us to be, inspite of the right or wrong, good or bad in all of us. But we have to first "come to the end of ourselves" (back to Oswald) "and all of our self-sufficiency. We have to realize that "there is not one strand of ourselves that we can ever rely upon again and in our destitution, we will be in a fit condition to receive an impartation from the risen Lord." We must see that "no matter what changes God has wrought in us, to never rely upon them, but to build only on a Person, the Lord Jesus Christ, and on the Spirit He gives." Breathe on me, Breath of God!

Over the past week, I have come to realize these very things. I have seen and continue to see how my sin, me trying to fulfill myself, my needs because of my hurt, pain and woundedness hurts God. He wants me to depend only on Him to meet my every need. We sing this song at NCC that has become my mantra: "All of you is more than enough for all of me for every thirst and every need. You satisfy me with you love and all I have in you is more than enough." Don't get me wrong, I know I need people in my life, as well, but, I had been seeking out the people to meet my needs instead of seeking out God to meet them in whatever way He sees fit; whether through the people He brings into my life or through some other avenue. Although I haven't quite discovered just how to totally depend on God, I trying to stay open and listen with my heart and learn and apply. Breathe on me Breath of God!