Silence, Listening, Waiting, Confidence & Blessings

I've asked God to teach me...to show me how to depend on Him and not on myself so that I will know that it is Him and not me or anyone else that supplies my need. God is my source but how he gives it, through others, etc. is the resource. Today's My Utmost For His Highest talks about vision...God's vision that he gives to us. Chambers says that God puts us in the shadow of His hand and it is our duty to be still and listen. He says that when the darkness comes, we should just wait. God will make us in accordance with the vision He has given us if we wait. He talks about how Abraham went through 13 years of silence that his self-suffiency was destroyed in those years of waiting. I must admit that I really don't like to wait...I don't want to wait 13 years or even 13 months! God help me!

Chambers then talks about where our confidence should be: not in God's blessings, in myself, in others, in books or in prayers and ectasies. My confidence should be in God, Himself. I have been kind of stuck on Malachi 3:10-12 where it talks about tithes and offerings. I haven't seen or been able to see God's promise of blessing being poured out that I wouldn't have room enough to receive it and the stopping of my crops being devoured by pests. I'm now wondering if the blessing I should expect is God, Himself! This takes me right back to the song we sing Enough: All of you is more than enough for all of me; for every thirst and every need. You satisfy me with your love and all I have in you is more than enough.

I'm wondering if and how and what waiting and listening in silence for God to make me in accordance with the vision and receiving God's blessing (whether it's Himself or other types) have to do with each other. Maybe nothing. Maybe everything.

Too deep!